Do's and Don'ts of Fantasy Football
by Steve Preo

Posted on 8/20/2004

It's less than a month before the regular season of the NFL gets started and most of you are getting ready for the pinnacle of the pre-season --
your Live Fantasy Football Draft. The time for you to shine ... the
event that will show your buddies of 15+ years that THIS YEAR will be different. You've come prepared and no one will laugh at you this year.
You've learned not to scream out "DOUG BRIEN" with all your might as your 3rd round pick comes upon you.

Nope, this is a "new you" and this year's draft will be memorable.
Some quick Do's and Dont's to put even more awe into your friends and league owners:

DO:
Have plenty of beer on hand. Yes, in theory, you have it there for everyone and being a gracious host, its nice to let all involved stay refreshed with a few cold beverages.  In reality, other owners being sloshed by Round 5 works in your favor. Not only will Ricky Williams of the Dolphins look good to them, Ricky Williams of the Colts will look GREAT to them as well.

DON'T:
Serve caviar, wine or anything that gives the impression you're going to put some potpourri out around the house or maybe flip on your favorite Yanni CD (the fact you have a "favorite" is a whole other issue ...). While distraction of other owners is good, getting them mad or sensing they're teaming up to ruin your fantasy football franchise is B-A-D.

DO:
Promote a sense of unity within the league and for Draft Day.
Encourage each owner to bring something concerning their team -- a hat, their fantasy FB team's logo on a shirt, maybe a lucky item for drafting and lead up to the actual draft day with emails and phone calls to get the juices flowing.

DON'T:
Promote the idea of dressing as your favorite player or even worse, as your fantasy football team's mascot. "Sheldon's Shitkickers" will have the house reeking of a horrible smell before the #1 pick is even chosen
-- just picture your best friend in drag representing "Terry's Tight Ends" -- and don't even try to concentrate while you're figuring out what the "Johnson Twin Jerkers" are doing between picks ... ewwww.

DO:
Find a large house, apartment or even a great sports bar that has the room to host your draft.  Having the ability to stretch out with your
cheatsheets, magazines and lists is key.  It also doesn't hurt to be
able to enjoy a cold beverage or two, belch without ridicule and even catch an NFL highlight or two of your opposing owner's #1 pick crumpling to the ground in a heap after tearing his ACL getting off the team bus.

DON'T:
Try to put together a great draft via phone or fax.  How can you
possibly flip off another owner who steals your "Sleeper" pick on your cell phone?  Where's the fun of having your newest swimsuit model girlfriend "coincidently" stop by to see you during the draft when no one else is in the room?  And doing your "Right Here Buddy" dance to celebrate your tremendous 12th round kicker selection can be ... well ... painful to say the least around a fax machine ... ouch!